Being hitched changes individuals. A few couples turn out to be closer and more satisfied. Some get to be inaccessible.
You figure out how to really exist together with somebody consistently, despite their flaws—and more, despite your own. You learn to work with what you have today, not what you want someday from him or her. You learn to give—and to receive, as well. Your true self starts to reappear from childhood.
Marriages force you to negotiate and compromise, regardless of you like it or not. After the initial two years or so of lovey-dovey delicate stuff, it gets to be about simply wanting to do good for him or her. After the honeymoon’s forgotten, it’s about the solace, spending time together, not the glamour or the fancy gifts.
Getting married is easy. Staying married is what is much more difficult task.
Wisdom in marriage is hard-earned, in stride. Whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.
1.Marriage is consistent work.
Never quit dating. Continuously pay attention. Keep learning, sharing, laughing with your partner. Treat yourself well and treat your partner even better. Never neglect your looks or words or actions—or your thoughts. Keep working hard to be a better person, lover, partner, chef. Seek truth, not to be right.
Make a point to listen carefully, every time, unfailingly. Just get stuff done, on time. Keep your mouth shut; don’t groan and grumble. Be helpful, be encouraging. Get your chores done each day, don’t wait. Know when the storm is coming; it will pass. The morning’s wiser than the night. Resolve your argument before you sleep. Apologize if you need to.
2.Argument is just not worth it.
Most of the time, the argument is just not worth it. Pick your fights carefully.
Being right will make you proud one moment, but will piss her off. Bad move. Be smart.
3.Laugh hard.
If you can’t laugh, you’ll die. And if you can, you’ll manage through mundane, profane, the painful and the thrilling.
4.How’s life? How is your wife?
One and the same. That’s one cliche both sexes can agree on.
5. It can be similar to riding on a thrill ride.
How’s married life? The answer can be different any given day. Today is glorious, tomorrow awful. And so what?
6.Never compare your couple to any other.
This always leads to disaster. Never compare your house, your relationship, your sex life, your wealth or anything else to anyone else’s. That is the initial step to being devoured by apprehension, desire, envy and the various negative feelings.
Live your own life. Bring out the best in each other and work on your own couple, per your own standards and expectations.
7.Instinct and emotion trump pure reason.
This is the hardest thing for a few individuals to learn and after that acknowledge. Now and again, one life partner is frequently right in spite of what might appear to be wrongful thinking, nonsensical requests, passionate offers. Reason alone is insufficient and drives you down wrong ways. Some of the time you truly need to listen to your life partner and take after his or her solicitations, then pose the questions later.
8.Well, do you miss the chase?
Yes and no. Even if you loved to date before, when married, you’ll think twice and three and four times before pursuing another man or woman. Once you invest all your efforts with one person for so long (and actually succeed), why would you want to jeopardize it for a shallow hook-up?
More to the point, if you’ve stopped chasing your wife, you’ve lost a step yourself. If you’ve stopped exciting her with your jokes, actions and ideas, you need fresh material. It’s your job to keep her excited about you and where you’re going together in life.
Your wife is a different woman every day. Make things exciting by wooing her like you want to win her. Try something new once in a while. The same goes for those of you with husbands!
9.Doesn’t the sex get bad?
If you let it, for sure it does. If either of you let things get stale in any part of your relationship—especially this one—it can really bring down the enjoyment factor.
Here’s a novel idea: separate for a few days each month and don’t touch each other at all. When you’re back in the saddle, it’s good.
10. Patience isn’t a virtue; it’s earned.
Not just patience with your partner, but with yourself. You have to always work to improve yourself, but progress is never quick.
Patience is the only way you can get past all the frustrations that can pile up when you take two people with different personalities, hormones, cultures, languages, worldviews, types of hygiene, ways or organizing life and so on and put them together in one house.
Meditate, pray, take a walk around the block. Play the long game. Do whatever you have to do to be patient with your partner and with yourself. You will prevail over your foibles and get over the silly things that cause you to argue and become frustrated.
11.Your spouse is always #1.
Not your book, not your job, not your best buddy. When your spouse needs you, you drop everything. Or eventually, he or she will drop you.
12.Never settle or backslide.
Once you do, your relationship starts a slow death. Maintain the high standards for yourself you had when you met—and impressed—each other and fell in love.
